Answer:

When someone breaks a promise to me, I will figure out why before determining consequences and I Resolve the Promise.

Explanation:

Handle Yourself First

When a promise isn’t kept, especially by them, you probably feel angry at being let down, frustrated if you were counting on the results of the promise, irritated at yourself for believing your them and sad because trust was broken and the relationship was harmed. Take a few moments to calm yourself and perform self-care, such as deep breathing, exercising to burn off the adrenaline rush or counting to 100 to reduce the temptation to berate them. This will give you the calmness and clarity needed to discuss the problem rationally with them.

Get the Story

Give your them the benefit of the doubt, suggests the Southam Consulting team in “The Ten Secrets to Managing Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior.” State the facts as you see them, such as “The paper you promised to help me with is still unfinished," or "You promised you'd come to my dance recital." Give them a chance to explain why the promise wasn’t kept. Listen carefully and allow the story to unfold. There could be a logical reason for the broken promise.

Explore the Consequences

They might not understand the consequences of the broken promise. State your feelings, using "I" language. For example, you could say “I feel like I’m not important to you.” Ask why them made the promise initially, so you understand her motivation -- she/ he might have meant it at the time because she/ he wanted you to feel better, but forgot to follow through because your emotions improved. Let them know that broken trust makes it difficult to trust in the future. If you will incur a penalty for the broken promise, such as a poor grade on a project or a missed opportunity for benefit, add that to your consequence explanation.

Resolve the Promise

Find out how they intends to resolve the issue. Explain that you would prefer not to receive promises if they won’t be kept because the breach of trust will damage your relationship.