I was depressed because some family issues. i alwys felt like i am a bad child . my academic scores where low which made my parents disppointed in me and they always nagged on me for everything . i know they want me to have a good future but , bring a sensetive little girl i feel really shame onmyself i started growing insecurity which made me introvert . and being an introvert made me lose some of my friends which made me more depressed. i had past traumas which make me feel disgusted whenever i think about it. i was always compared to other kids and it made a negative impact on me. i felt like i was being opressed i never had anyone to talk about my feelings and thoughts which made things words. i felt depressive , anxiety was taking all over me with suicide thoughts . one time i tried to end everything but i failed miserably as i am scared of pain. i some times felt my heart was becoming a stone and i forgot how to smile . all this feelings that i couldnt handle for myself made me outburst in anger towards my mom which made her sad and upset . i really wanted to tell what i feel but i know she would never understand it.
being lonely wasnt something i was familiar with and was scared of everyone because of the trauma i got i felt highly mental illness but i never expressed myself to anyone i turned completely blank .
But i knew i had to break through all this and after a couple of months or 1-2 years time i am feeling a lot better . actually the lockdown made a huge problems for others but it made a positive impact on me i know myself now very well and i know what i need now. i feel a lot better and in am free from all those bad days i feel a ray of hopes in my life now even though everything isnt still alright. i believe everything will be fine now i am looking towards the bright side rather than into the negative side. i am comfortable eith the silence and who i am now. i am insecure but it doesnt bother me much like before.
My dream to be a psychiatrist/psychologist grew when i got to know i wasnt the only one suffering when i surfed through internet . i doesnt want any person to go through what i have been too.
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I was depressed because some family issues. i alwys felt like i am a bad child . my academic scores where low which made my parents disppointed in me and they always nagged on me for everything . i know they want me to have a good future but , bring a sensetive little girl i feel really shame onmyself i started growing insecurity which made me introvert . and being an introvert made me lose some of my friends which made me more depressed. i had past traumas which make me feel disgusted whenever i think about it. i was always compared to other kids and it made a negative impact on me. i felt like i was being opressed i never had anyone to talk about my feelings and thoughts which made things words. i felt depressive , anxiety was taking all over me with suicide thoughts . one time i tried to end everything but i failed miserably as i am scared of pain. i some times felt my heart was becoming a stone and i forgot how to smile . all this feelings that i couldnt handle for myself made me outburst in anger towards my mom which made her sad and upset . i really wanted to tell what i feel but i know she would never understand it.
being lonely wasnt something i was familiar with and was scared of everyone because of the trauma i got i felt highly mental illness but i never expressed myself to anyone i turned completely blank .
But i knew i had to break through all this and after a couple of months or 1-2 years time i am feeling a lot better . actually the lockdown made a huge problems for others but it made a positive impact on me i know myself now very well and i know what i need now. i feel a lot better and in am free from all those bad days i feel a ray of hopes in my life now even though everything isnt still alright. i believe everything will be fine now i am looking towards the bright side rather than into the negative side. i am comfortable eith the silence and who i am now. i am insecure but it doesnt bother me much like before.
My dream to be a psychiatrist/psychologist grew when i got to know i wasnt the only one suffering when i surfed through internet . i doesnt want any person to go through what i have been too.
I AM HAPPY BEING WHON I AM NOW. :)
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